Luckily Christi interrupted her long enough to try out that new iPhone with the Siri to see how many hours it was to Michigan. When I came to and found I had slipped off the couch, I climbed back up and sure enough…Kelly was in the Mom Perch talking about her boobs again. I didn’t squint as much on that one though, as I did when Kelly explained how breast feeding two girls could suck the air out of a balloon animal in under 30 seconds and leave it all withered up and stretchy. MacNugget, Paige & Nia were going to be competing against Chloe, Brooke & Maddie.Īs for the experience and balance…one group had top tier Maddie, and the other had a 7 year old who can do major backflips until those Ohio cows from last week come home, but only a little bit of 7 year old dancing. This meant that they had to all step up their game, because now they had to win trophies and impress an agent who could potentially yank one of them into instant stardom.Īnd what better way to impress than do two…count ‘em…TWO trios and a group number about plastic surgery? This announcement gave Christi a chance to squint and question the balance between the trios, and gave the rest of us the first of many chances to hear about Kelly’s less than stellar boobs. The Big News this time, since there always has to be Big News, was that a talent scout from the Joffrey Ballet was going to be in the audience during the upcoming competition. Every time she is on the upper deck I get confused as to whether I’m watching a repeat episode or not. Whether you’ve had Botox or not, there should have been no change in your facial muscles when Maddie was revealed on the top. They probably cut the JV football practice short so they could go home and get online. I’m sure her Mom was thrilled when Abby pointed that one out on national television.Ĭheck the hits on Brooke’s Facebook tonight. Brooke just needs to do something with her neck besides use it as a breeding ground for hickies. She is a crazy good gymnast, and boinks all around the stage with that fearlessness that tiny kids have until the first time they cut their head open. Little MacNugget just needs to keep working on her dancing and her front teeth. Second row was held down by Brooke and smiley Mackenzie. Give it a rest, Abby, before Al Sharpton shows up. She never says it, but I think Abby is still holding a grudge because Nia won’t let her hair go all Dy-No-Mite afro. That, and the fact that Mom Holly still won’t allow Abby to choreograph a Mr. She tried her gosh darnedest, but let’s be honest…she was playing catch up a few times. The same rules that got Chloe in the bottom applied to Paige, while Nia was there because she was a beat or two pokey in last week’s trio. Paige and her sassy, slightly too old for her head haircut was right there next to Chloe, as was Nia. And then some more after that, which according to the rules in Abby’s head, require Chloe sit this one out down in the basement. I know, right?Ĭhloe nailed her stuff last week, but Abby wanted more. Poor Chloe and her little eyes were stuck on the bottom row. This time around the Seriously, What Kind Of Tape Do They Use On Maddie’s Picture Because I Don’t Think They Could Pull It Off The Top If They Had To Pyramid was a bit of a downer for some of the girls. Luckily for you, this week was your chance to live vicariously through the Abby Lee Miller Dance Company as they shimmied and sashayed their way through a plastic surgery group number that would have made any Beverly Hills Housewife proud.Īs Abby continued to push the girls to dance longer, harder and tighter for the upcoming Energy Dance Competition, we learned way more than we needed to about stress fractures, surgical procedures and Kelly’s maternally drained upper body.īut, as always, the party couldn’t start until the Pyramid of Shame was revealed. Or those annoying “11″ lines between your eyebrows you got from squinting to make certain that the girls were actually wearing something up there during that scandalous Topless Showgirls episode, may it forever Rest In Peace. Or those jowly, marionette lines you got from your jaw hanging open for a solid hour each week. Like those forehead creases you got from your eyes bugging out during two seasons of Dance Moms. Just a little sumthin sumthin to take a few years off the old face after years of hard living, bad choices and too much Reality TV. Who wouldn’t want a little nip & tuck? Nothing major. That alone is way better than a nose job, thank you.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |